Dear Primary Goods Employees,
Happy Holidays! I’d like to take this moment to remind you of an issue that has come to my attention. Everyone has been very excited about our new sheets – which we are also thrilled about – but everyone has also been oversleeping recently. We know French linen is softer than what you are used to, and you don't want to get out of it.
We know it creates a microclimate around your body, so you're just the right temperature, which is tough to part with during these cooler months.
We also know the snaps mean that your sheets stay in place in the night and don't get tangled or tugged off of you, but they also mean that making the bed is easier than ever and gives you a more productive start to your morning.
So, and I hate to say this, but there is really no excuse to spend the whole day in bed. Don't get us wrong – we’re so glad you are well-rested, and that you like the sheets. We like the sheets too. In fact, I'm writing this in bed right now in the new Terracotta set, as I'm always remote. (But that's neither here nor there.) Up and at 'em, and you can shop our winter deals if you want to try out our new pillow or comforter. But please – please – still come in. Please. I am begging you.
Thanks for your cooperation,
Hal E. Day
Head of Human Resources